February may be a month dedicated to love, romance and proposals, however, it’s also the busiest month of the year for surprise pregnancy announcements.
All the festive cheer and frivolity over the Christmas period accounts for more babies being born in September than at any other month in the year and with late January being the time when many women realise their monthly is now long overdue, it’s also the peak time for pregnancy test sales.
Valentine’s Day is also one of the most popular days to break the news to partners and gift-wrapped pregnancy tests with 2 blue lines will be gracing many a romantic dinner table across the land.
Research suggests that only 55% of pregnancies are planned so if you have just found out you are unexpectedly pregnant, you are most certainly not alone.
Finding out that you are pregnant can be a huge shock and taking in all the implications can feel overwhelming, even for the most grown-up and sensible of us. Oh yes, even the most mature and intelligent women can find themselves staring at a plastic stick in disbelief!
So, you’re pregnant and now every emotion possible seems to have decided to visit you, all within the space of an hour.
You may feel like crying one minute, shouting it from the rooftops next. You could feel anxious about work, money, telling your partner, whilst excited and protective over the new life growing in your tummy at the same time.
Your head will be spinning so it’s important not to rush into anything. Give yourself a bit of time to digest the news.
Telling the father-to-be or partner can be a daunting prospect. Will they be happy, cross, annoyed, excited? You may have already convinced yourself that you know how they are going to feel and react, well before you even tell them. STOP! Don’t also assume that their first reaction is how they will feel from now on.
Remember, you may have had a few days or even weeks to absorb the news. How you felt when you first discovered you were pregnant, probably isn’t how you feel now. Give the newly expectant father time to think and digest the information and don’t over-react if he doesn’t immediately start jumping for joy or needs a little time to think.
Don’t forget, you also have hormones rushing through your body that can both help and hinder calm and logical thoughts so neither party are likely to be at their emotional best for a little while.
Many fathers-to-be don’t get overly excited or fully comprehend that a baby is coming until the first scan so don’t worry if you don’t get the response you were hoping for straight away. Some new dads take even longer and don’t experience strong paternal instincts until they are in the delivery room holding baby and staring into those deep blue eyes.
Some, on the other hand, rush straight out to DIY stores and start decorating the nursery!
In the early days and weeks, take each day as it comes. Talk, plan and share your thoughts and accept that it may take a little while for your partner to get to the same page as you. Your body is helping you make the adjustments and steering your emotions, so be patient. You have 9 months to get to the same page.
And believe me, most parents do. Otherwise, 45% of mothers would be arriving at the hospital on their own come delivery day.